Monthly Archives: November 2015

Endless No’s

We are happy that Randall starts to have his first words, like ‘nai nai’ for milk, ‘ba’ for bye, ‘abu’ for open, although he does not voluntarily call us by mama or dada yet. Well, the bad news is he’s now practicing his very first word any chance he got.

– Would you like to have some milk?

– Buh (his word for ‘no’).

– Would you like to wash your hands?

– Buh.

– Could you please come down from the chair?

– Buh.

And if you keep asking, you’ll probably end up getting 10 or 20 straight no’s. And that’s what daddy thought the other night when Randall was sitting on the floor playing with his baby wipes. Daddy kept being refused of his suggestions until he hit the right one, “would you like to have some snack?” The little one got up all of a sudden with a delighted face and led his father all the way to the kitchen.

Frustration

Randall finally started to do shape sorting yesterday evening when I presented him a fun game with his nesting box tower — you put one shape through the hole and take it out from the bottom in a luck draw style. We had never really got him working on shape sorters before because he had been so easily frustrated. It wouldn’t take him more than a couple of tries before he got upset and threw the shapes away. And this happens almost everyday when things don’t go his way. Other kids might have just done it in the beginning with their parents prompting them where each shape goes, but he wouldn’t. We don’t get to tell him what to do and what not. Almost everything he does should be based on his own will and his own understanding. Once he’s ready, he is happy. He is very determined over what he’s going to do, what he’d like to achieve and how he’s gonna do it, even when he’s asking for our help. Like if knows the battery cover of his toy can be opened and he wants it opened by us, we can’t tell him that we need a screwdriver to do this. And lately he has picked up this preference over what he wears and would protest strongly if we try to put on him clothes he doesn’t like.

This is called inflexibility. I have secretly wondered if it’s something that we have neglected or have done wrong that has made him like that, but more likely than not, it’s just him, his born temperament. We should definitely work on that with him together, to help him understand and adjust himself, deal with his frustrations and be more flexible and persistent. But where has it come from? me or daddy, or someone else in the family? I know I’m kind of a person who falls apart when things get out of control, and I’m definitely not the persistent style in things I’m not a master of. But somehow I was an easy kid, or maybe it’s because I just knew how to walk away from challenges I didn’t like?